Photo by Bruce Bethany. Window photographed in Rome.
Leslie writes: Where r U?
Well yes, where am I and where was I when I got sidetracked?
I am starting to see that there is a downside to all of this social inter-action once removed. I see a lot of inspirational sentiments and interesting art, news and videos....some I put there myself. I love connecting fleetingly with people that I may not have an opportunity to see or feel the need to see in person. Sometimes it is enough to have a tenuous connection for whatever reasons. But I also see an awful lot of unhappy people trying to justify themselves in print on Facebook, blogs, twitter. I see a lot of people spending hours and hours online and I wonder if that is the best life they can live.
It gives one pause. I ask myself, what am I doing here writing my little stories etc. Is this an ego exercise, am I growing, am I part of the problem; part of the solution.... is it getting me where I want to go? Am I even being paid for the time I am spending online? And if so, in what currency?
Internet Technology is absolutely changing things for all of us. It is changing the way we see each other, how we see letters ( vanished) how we see invitations ( e-invites only) how we see greeting cards ( vanished) how we see landline telephones ( as an intrusion or an alarm bell) how we see thank you's ( emails). In short it is changing the way we see the world.
I now eat my breakfast and then head for the computer to look at my mails and the online newspaper. Somehow it seems urgent. But really what did I do before I had this machine?
I have been skipping the gym lately because the email seduces me and I am late setting out after flipping through another powerpoint of cute kittens or places in the world that I will never visit but feel like a real visit. Don't get me wrong. I will continue to play this game as long as it is still fun... but I have to tone it down a notch.
This last week I have been moderating my life online with my life " out there". For me it just got unreal all of a sudden. So instead, I have had a few good one-to-one talks with girlfriends; I have rootled in the garden; I have given a luncheon party for a few friends on a sunny day on the terrace.
And I have spent some hours talking to my husband about stuff: films, ideas, photos, philosophies. I need often to have a conversation which is not about fears or practical considerations of our life together. AndI have talked long and hard to my sister who is one of my lifelines.
In addition I have been tutoring a young girl in English who wants to go to Cambridge. It is a pleasure to be of service to her and it is hard work. It also helps that I am well paid. I am good at teaching. That is the only thing I know for sure. The rest is an experiment. Sometimes it is good to go back to something you know for sure in order to see what it is that is so satisfying about it.
Bear with me. I am not giving up my blog. The blog (hated term) helps me put my life in perspective but I can bring more to the table if I don't sit at it all day.
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