Think on it.... The Paraprosdokian

unknown photographer

My friend Roger sent these teasers.  See the bottom note about his research.  

•     Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting  it in a fruit salad.

•    I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

•     I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not  screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

•     Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

•     The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the  list.

•     Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear  bright until you hear them speak.

•     If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

•     War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

•     The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the  cheese.

•     Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then  proceed to tell you why it isn't.

•     To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many  is research.

•     A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a  train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

•     How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it  takes a whole box to start a campfire?

•     Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything,  but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.

•     Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they  can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them  fish.

•    I  thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.

•     A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that  you don't need it.

•     Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an  emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR".

•     I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

Paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way
that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax.  

Enjoy your Sunday...