Friday, July 15, 2016

About Tragedy

"This is a time when people can become truly aware that we all have a lot more in common than we do differences. The political question of the season is, therefore, to discuss and understand how we can do small things in our personal lives that, when taken collectively, can move us along the path of improving the quality of life for all living beings."  Rio Olesky

Villa Rothchild gardens,  photo by Mary M Payne

I am touched by all of the heartfelt messages ...little texts and notes that have come from the States and as far as Mumbai from friends and family.... and from Facebook acquaintances that I have never even met or who have "found" me.   These have all been in response to the tragedy last night in Nice. 

Last evening I thought that I would go down to the fireworks display but decided I would be better served by going to bed early and getting up at five to meditate and walk along the sea.  It is a new practice of mine and it isn't cemented into my belief system yet ( I still believe that I am not a morning person) so I was determined to do it, even though going to bed early still seems like a wussy thing to do.  

So I went to bed early and during that time (around 10h30 here) a truck deliberately plowed into the crowds by the famous Negresco Hotel, killing 84 revelers and injuring 200.  

My brother Jim called at 1:30 am from Seattle to let us know what had happened.  It had become world wide news. 

But even though we weren't affected personally, all of your little kindnesses, letters and phone calls to us and to each other have meant so much.  They are what is needed for everyone to heal the deep wounds of alienation and fear that have turned into rage.  

 You can see this alienation in the political scene in Britain ( Brexit) and the USA and in the proliferation of gun related incidents in the USA.  This fear and alienation is a world-wide problem now, not just that of France.  You can see it in the fear of immigration and fear of displacement across the globe, the fear and loathing of "the others". 

 Why does it take a tragedy to reach out to each other in solidarity?  It is perhaps because we need an emotional response to really make a change.  

 What if we made reaching out a daily practice? 

 In fact, I think that that is all we can do.   We certainly can't cover every person with a policeman and a gun.  We can't even realistically secure a crowd.  Any determined terrorist
will find a way to act. 

  But we can soften the climate to make our lives more inclusive...reaching across borders that we unwittingly have put in place.

I am blessed that all my people are safe and I want to keep that feeling every day.   I think it is up to me how I feel and how I think.  If I can believe that I am changing the climate to prevent alienation, I know I will feel even better.  

  And that does not mean re-living the story over and over, repeating the horrors and looking at the pictures.    If you can't change it, go ahead and rail at the world for five minutes....not more.  Repeating the story only keeps the negativity and terrorism alive.   It does nothing to heal it. 

 What I need to move on is "to be on my toes",  not to guard against horrors, but to see how I can make a difference in the general feelings around me.  

 What we all can do takes place on the bus, in the street, passing a stranger in the parking lot , at the market.  What we can do is to be alert, awake to the strangers around us.  We can take the time to talk, nod, smile or even to just silently lift the energy without a word or gesture...

 Even that wordless thought is an action... a simple acknowledgement that we are on this planet together.   That is something we can do. 

12 comments:

  1. Thank you my sweet friend (It's me Mary Matvy I don't know how to do this so I put Anonymous so it would publish Yikes)...the words you say are words I know but need to hear right now...I'm sharing it...and I WILL go to Ginna's Bastille Day party tomorrow...you have lifted me and I love you! I think sometimes it's a little harder to be alone than I think...especially in times like these. I walked last Friday in a march for Black Lives Matter...that always helps to feel one is doing something even if it's just putting ones body to be counted.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you Mary for responding. It is one of the small connections I am talking about. We never can acknowledge each other enough, I think.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Love this post and agree 200%.

    Leslie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thanks Leslie, I know that you are one of my people who believes in reaching out.

      Delete
  4. Mary, this is such a beautiful blog. And so very true. Thank you for putting into writing what many of us are thinking. This is what we can do!!!

    Martha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Martha. It is good when you tell your truth to have it corroborated. I suppose this is what I mean by reaching out.

      Delete
  5. Such powerful thoughts and so glad that you are safe.

    Trina

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So good to hear from a far away friend. Thank you ,Trina.

      Delete
  6. Mary, thanks for your blog. I love the positive suggestions.

    Love, Roge P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Roge, thank you so much for responding. It makes me feel inspired to do more of what I am talking about....reaching out.

      Delete
  7. Hi Mary. It's your cousin Amy (Lowell and Marilyn's kid) living on Salt Spring Island in Canada. I check in on your inspiring blog every once in awhile and of course thought of you when I heard the news this week. I was so touched by your post and immediately was reminded of my great aunt Elsa. She and Harvey would be so proud of your words. Thanks for them, and I hope we can see you again soon in Seattle, Salt Spring, or Nice. Lots of love, Amy and Dave

    ReplyDelete
  8. Thank you Amy for responding. It does make a difference that you took the time to write. This is the kind of thing that means more than we know. I can certainly vouch for that just now in re-finding and connecting with you and Dave. Yes, come and see us. You are welcome.

    ReplyDelete